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If you’re stepping into a leadership coaching engagement (or thinking about it) you might be wondering:
What exactly is coaching, and how do I make the most of it?
Leadership coaching is a focused, thought-provoking process that helps you grow in clarity, capability, and impact. It’s not therapy, consulting, or advice-giving. Instead, it’s a space to pause, reflect, challenge assumptions, test ideas, and shape the kind of leader you want to become.
I consider myself an ally to the person I’m coaching, you. As one client shared, ‘At the beginning I didn’t like it. I felt like I was being judged for all of my vulnerabilities, everything I wasn’t doing.’ She later realized, ‘it was not you judging her; It was all coming up from inside herself.’ My commitment is to your learning, growth, and success on your terms, by focusing you on identifying what you want and what’s in your power to change. Even when your employer is paying for the engagement, this commitment leads to the most meaningful change for you and for the organization.
The insights below come from coaching thousands of leaders across industries, backed by research and real-world practice. These are the habits and mindsets that lead to the biggest gains.
1. How Often Should I Meet With My Coach?
My experience shows clients who engage in coaching weekly experience more significant breakthroughs. Research echoes this. More frequent sessions lead to better outcomes. (A study found that nearly all of the 22 positive effects of coaching were higher when coaching conversations occurred every 1-2 weeks, suggesting that more frequent sessions lead to better outcomes (link).) Recommendation: As one client noted, ‘Regularity of meetings helped me stay accountable.’ Recommendation: Aim for weekly sessions to accelerate your growth and maintain accountability.
2. Think Long-Term
Clients who stick with coaching over years reap the greatest rewards. Research from a Fortune 500 company and the International Coach Federation supports this, showing substantial improvements in performance, time management, and teamwork over time (link). Recommendation: View coaching as a long-term investment in yourself.
3. Set Goals That are Just Specific Enough
Your coach will encourage you to set goals and, as long as it’s clear what direction you want to move in, your coach might find that satisfying enough to get started. However, if your coaching goals are too broad, you won’t know if you’ve achieved them.
I often describe coaching as a bridge. At the start of the engagement we’ll talk about what you want to achieve by the end of coaching. By understanding the start and the end of coaching, you’ve outlined a bridge. Then each individual session is like a plank in the bridge. That session will have its own goal, and it’s all part of building the overall bridge.
However, if your bridge doesn’t have a clear endpoint, it’s going to be difficult to find a structure, or supports, or even to know how to build it. It’s an idea of a bridge rather than anything that will help you to get where you want to go.
This is why we often use assessments to help define that “bridge.” A competency tool (a “Report Card”) is essential for measuring your impact and answering, “How am I doing?” A descriptive tool (a “Mirror”) is essential for understanding your innate style and answering, “Why do I do what I do?” Using both is the fastest way to get clarity on your goals and build an effective plan to reach them. You can read my full breakdown of using “Mirrors” and “Report Cards” in coaching here.
Check out this article on how to identify the zones for your coaching goals.
4. What should I do between coaching sessions?
Some of the biggest breakthroughs don’t happen in coaching, but they do happen between sessions.
The clients who grow the most aren’t necessarily the ones with the most time. They’re the ones who stay curious and keep experimenting between calls. That might mean:
- Reading a short article or book excerpt
- Listening to a podcast that connects with your goals
- Trying something new at work and noticing what shifts
- Journaling to sort out your thoughts
It doesn’t have to be big. What matters is that it’s your idea, not just something a coach assigns. When you choose it and follow through, it creates real movement.
The bonus? Coaching sessions become more powerful. Instead of spending time reviewing basics, you can focus on:
- What got in your way
- What surprised you
- What you want to try next
Recommendation: Talk with your coach about simple ways to keep learning between sessions. Choose one thing. Try it. See what you learn. That’s how momentum builds.
5. Write in a journal between sessions
I’ve noticed clients who journal between sessions gain more insights. Studies confirm that journaling enhances the coaching process by clarifying thoughts and feelings. Journaling helps make your thoughts real and your progress visible. Clients who journal often arrive at sessions clearer, calmer, and more focused. It serves as a valuable tool for reflection, introspection, and maintaining a record of learning and experiences, leading to more targeted coaching conversations. (link) (link) (link). Recommendation: Keep a reflection journal. It’s a simple yet powerful tool to deepen your learning and progress.
6. Be Open to Change, even when it’s hard
This one is very much my own personal observation. Clients who felt like victims initially but who left coaching with a commitment to action saw the best results–even better than those who came to coaching feeling empowered initially. While research on this specific aspect isn’t common and we need more, coaching is known to shift perspectives. My personal theory is that people who enter into coaching with a victim mindset but combine that with a commitment to action are most likely to experience life-changing transformations as a result of coaching.
Recommendation: Even if you feel like the world is against you, enter coaching with an open mind, ready to challenge your usual way of thinking and behaving.
7. How should I prepare for a coaching session?
It’s common for people to come to coaching not sure what they want to talk You don’t need a perfect plan, but 10 minutes of prep can change the tone of your session.
Try this:
- Journal what’s top-of-mind: wins, worries, decisions.
- Review past sessions: what’s shifted? What’s still sticky?
- Ask: “What one thing would I love to walk away with today?”
- Make your ask clear: “I need help shaping a message” or “I want to rehearse for a feedback conversation.”
You can even ask your coach to help you build a prep habit.
Recommendation: Prepare just enough to focus the session, but not so much that you script it. Coaching thrives on co-creation.
8. Use the Session for Real Work
Great coaching is real-time, applied, and human. It’s not just a conversation about leadership. It’s practice for it.
Here’s how to make it work:
✅ Start with a goal: “Today I want to work on…”
✅ Say what support you want: feedback, rehearsal, strategy, mindset
✅ Bring something real—a draft, an outline, even a sticky email
✅ Don’t worry if it’s messy. That’s what coaching is for.
Coaches aren’t just listeners. We’re your thought partners.
Recommendation: Use your session to test ideas, rehearse messages, or challenge your thinking. It doesn’t take long, but it does take courage.
💬 Where My Allegiance Lies
When coaching is sponsored by your company, it’s natural to wonder: Who is the coach really here for?
Here’s my answer: As an ICF-credentialed Master Certified Coach, I’m here for you. Always. Any coach who is adhering to the ICF Code of Ethics will hold your words confidential.
Yes, your employer may provide the opportunity. But the coaching relationship centers on your learning and growth. That’s not just ethical. It’s effective.
When you feel safe, supported, and seen, you take risks, challenge patterns, and grow faster. As one client shared, ‘I could tell my coach everything. Even stuff I wouldn’t tell my manager or anybody else at work.’ This deep trust allows you to push your boundaries. And the benefits ripple out: better communication, better decisions, stronger teams.
You lead better when you’re coached as a person, not just as an employee.
That’s what I’m here to support.
Final Thoughts: Make Your Coaching Count
Coaching is a journey of personal and professional growth. By engaging frequently, journaling your thoughts, continuing your learning between sessions, committing for the long term, and being open to change, you can maximize the benefits of this transformative experience.
Coaching works best when you bring:
- 💡 Curiosity
- 💬 Clarity
- 🎯 Courage
- 🛡️ Trust
Show up. Say what’s hard. Take small risks. Reflect. Repeat.
Whether this is your first coaching engagement or your fifth, this is your space. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be in.
Clients often find that the coach is the only person who can truly push them to ‘level up.’ You’ll find a safe space to share everything, including things you might not tell your manager or anyone else at work, knowing your coach will celebrate your wins but also keep you on your learning edge, never letting you ‘settle’ in the moment.
Know someone just starting coaching? Share this article to help them start strong.
Glossary of Key Terms
- Coaching: A professional relationship designed to help clients achieve their personal or professional goals.
- Inter-sessional Activities: Learning or homework activities that occur between coaching sessions, typically self-directed.
- Reflection Journal: A personal record where individuals can write down their thoughts, feelings, and insights, particularly related to their coaching experience.
- Self-Directed Learning: The process of taking initiative in one’s own learning, including identifying needs and selecting resources.
- Victim Mindset: A perspective in which someone feels powerless or stuck in frustration. When that’s recognized and set aside for a willingness to take action, it can lead to major growth.
- Transformative Experience: A significant experience that causes a fundamental shift in thinking, feeling, or behavior.
- Empowerment: The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one’s life and claiming one’s rights.
- Self-Regulation: The ability to monitor and control one’s own behavior, emotions, or thoughts.
- Introspection: The examination of one’s own conscious thoughts and feelings.
- Breakthrough: A significant advancement, discovery, or development; an important achievement.
Frequently Asked Questions
How should I prepare for a coaching session?
Take 10–15 minutes to journal, review your last session, and name one challenge or goal. Clarity fuels momentum.
How often should I meet with my coach?
Weekly is best when possible. It builds trust, rhythm, and progress. As you get used to coaching and what you can learn in that environment, you may benefit from dropping down to biweekly.
Is journaling helpful?
Yes. It creates focus, insight, and continuity between sessions.
What should I bring into a session?
Bring something real: a question, a challenge, a draft, or a decision you’re working through. It’s okay to have a few things in the list.
What if I don’t know what I want to talk about?
Say that out loud. Your coach can help you untangle and focus. Honesty opens the door. But if you have time to prepare, some journaling or even talking it out with an LLM can be helpful.
