Based on Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge
by Melody Wilding
Posted on [date] by [Your Name]
Navigating your relationship with a manager isn’t just a soft skill—it’s a strategic advantage. Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge by Melody Wilding offers a roadmap for working more effectively with people in positions of power, especially when your manager’s style, priorities, or behaviors create friction. This checklist is designed to help those who’ve read the book put its most actionable ideas into practice as daily habits or regular reflection. It’s especially useful when revisiting the material to apply it in real-world scenarios.
Checklist 1: Understand Your Manager’s Context and Style
Step one in managing up is decoding your boss—how they operate, what pressures they face, and how they prefer to work.
- Have I identified my manager’s communication preferences (email, Slack, in-person)?
- Do I understand what success looks like from their perspective?
- Have I paid attention to how they prefer to receive updates, feedback, or bad news?
- Do I know what stresses or priorities are currently influencing their behavior?
Checklist 2: Build a Foundation of Trust and Credibility
You can’t manage up without reliability. Start by being someone your manager trusts to deliver.
- Am I consistently meeting (or renegotiating) deadlines and expectations?
- Have I established a track record of follow-through and results?
- Do I manage my emotions professionally when things get tense?
- Have I been honest about my capacity and limits without over-explaining or apologizing?
Checklist 3: Use the 10 Conversations to Clarify Expectations and Improve Communication
The heart of the book lies in 10 essential conversations. Begin with the most relevant one for your situation.
- Have I initiated the Alignment Conversation to clarify goals and expectations?
- Did I try the Boundaries Conversation to push back respectfully when needed?
- Am I adapting my communication based on the Styles Conversation (how my manager prefers to process information)?
- Have I considered the Advocacy Conversation to ask for recognition, development, or support?
Checklist 4: Address Power Dynamics and Triggers with Self-Awareness
Managing up requires emotional intelligence—especially when you feel overpowered or underappreciated.
- Am I noticing when I feel resentful, anxious, or intimidated—and what might be triggering that?
- Have I responded to criticism with curiosity instead of defensiveness?
- Am I able to separate my boss’s tone from their intention?
- Have I noticed when people-pleasing tendencies are overriding my own needs?
Checklist 5: Advocate for Yourself Without Apologizing
You can’t get what you need if you never ask for it. This means making thoughtful, confident requests.
- Have I clearly stated what I need in order to be successful (resources, time, clarity)?
- Have I offered solutions when raising concerns instead of just pointing out problems?
- Have I asked for feedback or recognition instead of waiting for it?
- Have I framed my requests in terms of shared goals or team success?
Checklist 6: Protect Your Energy and Stay Grounded
Managing up is hard emotional labor. Protect your bandwidth and stay clear on your own values.
- Have I checked in with myself about what’s mine to carry—and what’s not?
- Am I setting and keeping reasonable boundaries, even under pressure?
- Have I made space to process emotions outside of work (journaling, therapy, coaching)?
- Am I staying aligned with my professional values, even when things feel unfair?
How to Use This Checklist
Use this checklist to revisit and apply the tools from Managing Up whenever you’re navigating tension with a manager, stepping into a new reporting relationship, or feeling drained by unclear expectations. Pick one checklist per week to focus on, or scan all six before a big conversation. Over time, these practices can help you feel more empowered, connected, and respected at work.
Why You Should Read Managing Up
If you’ve ever struggled with a boss who’s inconsistent, unclear, unavailable, or just plain difficult, this book is for you. Melody Wilding’s Managing Up is a compassionate, practical guide that helps you reclaim agency in the one relationship that can make or break your work experience. It’s not about manipulation—it’s about healthy, boundaried influence rooted in clarity and mutual respect.
