Leadership isn’t just about making the big calls or navigating stormy waters. It’s about being genuine, authentic, and straightforward. Let me tell you what I mean by that.
Imagine you’re sitting down with a friend over coffee. You want to share something vital, not to criticize but to help them grow. Now, if you’re really insecure in the relationship you might dance around the topic or sugarcoat it, but not if you’ve already been through a lot together. If you’re confident and feeling solid (y’know, like a leader), you’d look them in the eyes and tell them the truth. Not in a rude way, but in a way that shows you care. That’s straightforwardness. It’s saying what needs to be said, not because it’s easy, but because it’s necessary.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been working with a man who has a talent for self-sabotage. I’ve had to work with him carefully, because he will shut out anyone who isn’t taking him seriously and helping him to feel valid and valued as a human being.
Here’s the thing: being straightforward isn’t about being blunt to the point of insensitivity. It’s more like speaking with clarity, conviction, and respect. It paves the way for open chats, deep trust, and fewer crossed wires.
Kim Scott has made a name for herself talking about this value in leadership via her book and podcast called Radical Candor. I do encourage you to check it out.
Now, if you’re nodding along, thinking, “I want to be that kind of leader,” here are a few tips I’ve picked up along my journey:
Listen up: Before you can be direct, you’ve got to understand the lay of the land. That means genuinely hearing what others have to say, then responding with a good blend of honesty and tact. With the man I’ve been working with, I’ve worked to stay curious and understand his perspective, to be able to describe his experience in a way that he can say “YES, that’s it!”
Walk the talk: You’ve got to set the pace. Show your team how it’s done. It’s about showcasing that you can voice your thoughts in a kind, respectful way, even when the going gets tough. You can’t “Do as I say, not as I do” your way through this.
No walls up: Let’s face it; nobody likes being critiqued. But it’s essential to leave defensiveness at the door. Take feedback with grace, showing you’re open to new viewpoints. And if you are going to deliver challenging feedback, you can guarantee their defensiveness will kick in, and you’ll be criticized back. Take it seriously. It’s a mark of respect.
Stay steady: It’s hard to be on-point if you’re wrapped up in a whirlwind of emotions. Remember that their defensiveness isn’t about you, really, even if they are sending barbs your way. So, when things heat up, take a deep breath. It’ll keep you calm, collected, and clear-headed.
Detail it out: Being vague? That’s the enemy of being direct. Spell out your thoughts. It’ll help avoid any “lost in translation” moments. It’s okay if you find yourself struggling to come up with the perfect details in the moment. If you can prepare in advance, be very observant and take notes — bring those with you into the conversation. If the conversation sneaks up on you, promise to be observant and provide those details later.
To wrap it all up, being straightforward isn’t just a leadership strategy. It’s a cornerstone of genuine relationships. It fosters clear conversation, tight bonds, and a confident path through challenges. And if you’re sitting there, wondering how to cultivate this in your leadership style, give me a shout. Let’s have a conversation, one leader to another, and see if being coached is your cup of tea. Dive into your leadership journey – the world needs genuine leaders like you.
