Listening is an essential skill for effective communication, personal growth, and professional success. Active listening can strengthen relationships, foster a deeper understanding of others, and improve decision-making.
Every day we see and experience examples of the challenges in civil discourse. I believe our challenges in the public sphere reveal how our ability to be in relationship with each other has broken down. It’s all part of general listening skills.
If you’d like to become a better listener, pick one of these and focus on it for a month. I guarantee you will be a better listener!
1. Remove Distractions
In today’s fast-paced world, distractions are abundant. To become a better listener, minimize these distractions during conversations. For example, turn off or put away your phone, close your laptop, and reduce background noise. By doing so, you can focus entirely on the speaker and their message.
2. Be Present and Attentive
Being present means concentrating on the speaker and their message. Maintain eye contact, nod in agreement, and use facial expressions to demonstrate engagement. Avoid interrupting or planning your response; instead, concentrate on understanding the speaker’s thoughts and emotions.
Example: A manager attentively listening to an employee’s concerns about a new project, without interrupting or immediately offering solutions, can lead to a more open and productive discussion.
3. Practice Empathy
Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others. To improve your listening skills, put yourself in the speaker’s shoes and imagine their emotions. This connection helps you relate to the speaker and demonstrates genuine concern for their thoughts and feelings.
Example: A friend sharing their struggles with mental health can benefit greatly from an empathetic listener who validates their emotions and provides a safe space for them to express their feelings.
4. Be Open-Minded
It’s crucial to be open-minded when listening to others, setting aside your judgments and biases. Genuinely understanding the speaker’s perspective encourages honest communication and more fruitful conversations.
By staying present and focused on the conversation, you can better understand the other person’s perspective. Recognize your triggers and practice letting go of them, allowing yourself to listen without judgment or the need to change the other person’s beliefs.
This was always my challenge, growing up.
We can become so obsessed about changing someone else and how wrong they are. The more we think about how wrong they are, and how they should be different, the more we drive ourselves up a wall.
I come by this habit honestly. Changing others’ beliefs and behavior was kind of a family tradition. I didn’t rebel against this until I was in college. When I started moving away from Mom’s way of doing things, she started focusing her energy on changing me. I returned the favor. Her beliefs and behavior were never good enough for me. It’s a vicious cycle.
5. Reflect and Clarify
Occasionally summarizing the speaker’s message and asking clarifying questions ensures you grasp their message fully. This active engagement prevents misunderstandings and allows the speaker to elaborate on their thoughts, leading to a deeper understanding of the topic.
Example: In a team meeting, repeating the key points and asking for clarification on specific aspects can help ensure that everyone is on the same page.
6. Leverage Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal cues, like body language and facial expressions, can communicate just as much as words. Pay attention to the speaker’s nonverbal signals and respond with your own to demonstrate active listening. Nodding, maintaining eye contact, and leaning in slightly can all indicate your engagement and interest in the conversation.
7. Give Feedback
When appropriate, offer feedback to show that you’ve actively listened and understood the speaker’s message. This could include nodding in agreement, summarizing their points, or sharing your thoughts and opinions respectfully and without interrupting the speaker’s train of thought.
Example: During a brainstorming session, providing feedback on a colleague’s idea can lead to a more refined concept and demonstrate your engagement in the discussion.
Bottom line, improving your listening skills takes time, effort, and practice. By implementing these tips and techniques, you can enhance your listening abilities, resulting in more meaningful conversations and stronger relationships.
I’ve become able to listen even when I disagree. I’ve become much more skilled in setting aside the immediate judgments and evaluations that might come to mind. This allows me to stay curious and find out what common ground we can share.
Remember, listening involves not only hearing someone but genuinely understanding and empathizing with their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. By practicing empathetic listening, you can foster authentic connections, find common ground, and nurture healthy relationships in various aspects of your life.
