If you struggle to talk about your accomplishments without feeling uncomfortable, you’re in good company. For many professionals, self-promotion can feel like boasting, bragging, or stealing attention from others. But there’s a more generous way to think about it: valuable self-promotion lives at the intersection of empathy and accountability. It’s about making your contributions visible so others are informed, supported, and confident in what’s happening in your lane.
I first discovered this from my husband. He’s easily self-promotional. He regularly lets me know when he’s done the dishes or taken out the trash. At first, it felt unnecessary. Of course I trust him to handle things! But over time, I came to appreciate these quick touches because they kept me up-to-date on what’s been happening in the background of me running my business. I realized he was helping me track what was done so I didn’t have to wonder or check. It has improved trust over time because I know what I can count on–not because he isn’t telling me, but because he is.
Professional self-promotion works the same way: updating your manager or teammates keeps them from expending energy wondering if something has been handled, and it shows who is engaged and contributing in meaningful ways.
1. Reframe It as Service and Responsibility in your own mind. When you share your work, you’re not just promoting yourself. You’re offering a service. You’re helping others understand what resources, skills, and leadership are available. If you were organizing a project, wouldn’t you want to know who had experience, insight, or problem-solving skills that could help?
2. Share Credit Generously Self-promotion doesn’t have to mean “me, me, me.” When you talk about your contributions, highlight others too. For example: “We’ve finished with P and now we’re onto Q.” “I worked closely with Jane to solve this problem” or “Our team brainstormed this idea. I offered X contribution, and Barrie had this brilliant idea and added Y to it.” You stay visible, but you also demonstrate collaboration, generosity, and respect.
3. Tell the Story, Not Just the Outcome Instead of rattling off achievements, share brief stories that show your role. Storytelling naturally focuses on the journey: the challenges, teamwork, and insights rather than just your title or result. A short narrative like “When our sales dropped, Amanda proposed a creative solution, and I urged her to take it to marketing” feels authentic, relational, and empathetic.
4. Use “We” When It’s True, “I” When It’s Honest If something was truly a team effort, say “we.” If you individually initiated or drove a key step, it’s okay to say “I.” Balancing “we” and “I” shows both accountability for your contributions and respect for others’ roles.
5. Update, Don’t Brag Sometimes a simple update is all you need: “This month I worked on improving team engagement and piloted a new idea.” No embellishment. No trumpet-blowing. Just a clear, professional update that keeps people aware of your evolving contributions — lifting cognitive load off their plates.
Bottom Line: Self-promotion isn’t selfish. It’s an act of empathy and accountability — a leadership skill that, when done authentically, builds trust, demonstrates reliability, and strengthens the flow of communication and partnership across your team.
