When my clients struggle to balance empathy with accountability when they’re busy, I remind them that their personal well-being is the foundation of high performance. I have seen too many leaders burn themselves out by ignoring the very practices that sustain their resilience. If you’re feeling depleted or craving an extended vacation, it’s time to invest in self-compassion, reassert your boundaries, and choose activities that pay you back.
Practice self-compassion.
I notice that my own stress often traces back to an onslaught of self-criticism more than any actual workload. The busier I get, the harsher that inner voice becomes. Dr. Kristin Neff’s pioneering self-compassion research shows that taking short breaks to speak kindly to ourselves can reduce stress and spark long-term benefits. I pause, breathe, and remind myself that life gets tough for everyone. I talk to myself like I would to a dear friend and ask, “How can I help?” This shift in tone moves me from self-judgment to self-support.
Set clear boundaries.
Self-compassion doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. I see burnout take hold when leaders accept tasks that drain energy and create mounting frustration. I’ve learned to delegate what doesn’t align with my strengths or priorities. I also share scripts with clients, like, “I’m worn out right now. Can we revisit this tomorrow?” or “I only take on projects where I can make a real difference. Let me refer you to someone else for this one.” Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It preserves bandwidth for the high-impact work that fuels team success.
Pursue high-ROI activities.
Productive leaders invest in tasks that offer real returns, both for the organization and for themselves. It might be strategic planning, professional development, or strengthening key relationships. I encourage my clients to note what drains them—poorly planned meetings, endless emails, unnecessary conflict—and find ways to reduce or avoid those. I block time for daily check-ins, weekly reviews, and genuine connection with friends and family. I find that these simple routines pay me back with improved clarity, lowered stress, and renewed empathy for my team.
Recognize when comfort becomes numbing.
I have turned to social media or TV when I’m tired, only to discover that a few minutes of relaxation turned into hours of mindless scrolling. Brené Brown illustrates this with chocolate truffles—one truffle soothes, ten truffles numb. I encourage clients to notice how they feel after the first five minutes of an activity compared to thirty minutes later. Often, the initial spark fades, and what felt like self-care devolves into avoidance. Paying attention to that moment of diminishing returns helps you stop before “comfort” becomes self-sabotage.
Take consistent, kind action for yourself.
The most effective leaders find ways to grow their capacity rather than deplete it. They take calculated risks, invest in their own development, and practice self-compassion when mistakes happen. If I sense I’m overdue for a break, I schedule small moments to breathe and reset. When fear or guilt threatens to derail that commitment, I remind myself that consistent self-care equips me to lead with both empathy and accountability.
If you’re ready to create a healthier path forward, I’m here to help. I believe in crafting sustainable practices that support your performance and leadership goals. Schedule a no-risk conversation with me if you want to explore how coaching can support your growth. I look forward to hearing your story and helping you navigate your own leadership challenges.
