The pace of technological development and economic volatility has fundamentally altered how we relate to our work. It is a new business landscape, and for many, it feels like a relentless assault on stability.
When leading a transformation—whether a merger, a new tech stack, or a culture shift—it is easy to mistake the natural friction of change for personal failure. You might ask: Why is this so hard? Why is the team diving into despair just when we need to execute?
Psychological science suggests that what you are feeling isn’t a breakdown. It’s a predictable phase in the Cycle of Adaptive Change.
Drawing on the J-Curve of Change, we can map the emotional and performance trajectory of any major initiative. Recognizing where you are on this curve is the difference between “quiet quitting” and strategic resilience.
Here are the five phases of the cycle, and the leadership move required for each.
Phase 1: Uninformed Optimism (The “Ready to Rock” Phase)
The Science: High dopamine, high projected competence. The Experience: You are excited. The possibilities seem endless. You are open to learning because you haven’t yet encountered the friction of reality. The Reality Check: This energy is essential for ignition, but it is brittle. It relies on novelty rather than mastery. Leadership Move: Harness and Prepare. Use this energy to build relationships and reserves. You will need them later.
Phase 2: Informed Pessimism (The “Re-Evaluating” Phase)
The Science: The Dunning-Kruger effect kicks in. You now know enough to know how much you don’t know. The Experience: Reality sets in. The new software is buggy. The new reorg has political fallout. Your “chairs at home were not built to sit in for 8 hours a day.” This is where competence is threatened, leading to frustration. Leadership Move: Normalize the Struggle. Do not gaslight yourself or your team by pretending it’s easy. Acknowledge the friction.
Phase 3: The Valley of Despair (The “Re-Deciding” Phase)
The Science: This is the bottom of the J-Curve. Performance is lower than when you started. Self-efficacy is at its lowest point. The Experience: You feel overwhelmed. You can’t see the fruits of your labor yet. This is the bellwether moment. Here, you make the critical decision: Do I do the work? Or do I walk away? The Data: One of my clients, Lora, noticed her team spiraling during a shift in accountability culture. A staff member voiced trauma from a past layoff. [cite_start]Lora realized this anxiety wasn’t rebellion; it was fear. Leadership Move: Re-Contract with Purpose. If the goal is still valid, you must consciously choose to endure the discomfort of learning. This is not about “trying harder”; it is about connecting the struggle to a future outcome that matters.
Phase 4: Informed Optimism (The “Re-Committing” Phase)
The Science: Neuroplasticity in action. Neural pathways for the new skills are strengthening. The Experience: You invest sweat equity. You leave behind the fantasy that “the old way was better.” Performance is inconsistent, but the trajectory is upward. You are no longer faking it; you are building it. Leadership Move: Seek Feedback. In this phase, feedback is no longer a threat; it is data. [cite_start]As one leader noted, “It’s easy to label an engineer a low performer and exit them,” but choosing to document, communicate, and uncover motivation shapes a more humane, accountable plan.
Phase 5: Mastery & Completion (The “Re-Creating” Phase)
The Science: Unconscious Competence. The behavior is now automatic. The Experience: You are relaxed. You are the veteran who can teach others. You have integrated the change into your identity. The Trap: As soon as you master this level, the environment will likely change again, sending you back to Phase 1. This isn’t a failure; it’s evolution.
The Core: Your Internal Gyroscope
Amidst this movement, there must be a center. In Family Systems Theory, this is called Self-Differentiation: the ability to remain connected to a system without being hijacked by its anxiety.
This is your Core. It is the place where you separate who you are from what is happening.
- When the team is in the Valley of Despair, the Core allows you to witness their stress without absorbing it.
- When the project is in Uninformed Optimism, the Core keeps you grounded in reality.
If you aren’t centered in your Core, you will be pulled by the centrifugal force of the crisis. You will be doing, but not leading.
“If you don’t know where you are going, any road can take you there.” – The Cheshire Cat, Alice in Wonderland
Diagnostic Question
Look at your most pressing challenge right now. Are you in the illusion of the beginning, the pain of the middle, or the integration of the end?
Stop judging the phase you are in. Name it. Orient to your Core. And take the next step.
You can start a no-risk conversation with me if you’re interested in exploring how coaching might support you in achieving your goals. I look forward to hearing what you have to say.
