As a leader, you can feel it. Your new managers are stuck in “doer” mode, and their teams are burning out. Accountability is inconsistent–either nonexistent or so harsh it damages morale. Feedback is failing, and your most promising change initiatives have stalled.
You’re seeing the symptoms of an anxious work system.
In today’s market, organizations are in a constant state of flux. Reductions in force, rapid growth, and constant reorganization disrupt the relationships and social networks that make work work. This anxiety isn’t just a feeling; it’s a drag on the bottom line. It shows up as drops in revenue, plummeting employee engagement, and a total loss of the creativity needed to solve problems.
But this isn’t a people problem. It’s a systems problem. And it’s a problem that systems theory is uniquely equipped to solve.
From Anxious System to Empathetic Accountability
In my work as a leadership coach, I’ve seen firsthand that an “anxious system” is almost always a system lacking empathetic accountability.
The anxiety you feel is the system’s response to a lack of clarity and psychological safety. When leaders don’t set clear expectations, they create a vacuum that anxiety fills. When managers, driven by empathy, “rescue” their teams by doing the work for them, they create a system of dependence that leads directly to their own burnout.
When empathy becomes a barrier to accountability, the entire system suffers. Tough conversations are avoided, underperformance is tolerated, and high-performers become resentful. This is the “messy middle” where so many leaders get stuck.
Systems theory gives us a new way to lead. Instead of trying to manage every individual’s behavior, we can focus on managing our own presence and influencing the system itself.
The Three Pillars of Systems-Level Leadership
This embodied-learning session introduces leaders to the core principles from systems theory that change how they show up. These principles are the foundation for building a healthy, high-functioning organization.
Participants in this 3-hour workshop learn to:
Manage Self (The Core of Empathy): The most powerful lever you have is your own presence. This means learning to observe your own instinct to rescue, fix, or avoid. It’s about resisting the urge to absorb your team’s anxiety and instead, becoming a calm, non-anxious presence that provides stability for everyone.
Be Clear About Beliefs and Values (The Core of Accountability): A system without clarity is a system in chaos. This principle is about getting crystal-clear on your own values and expectations before you enter a difficult conversation. When you are clear on what matters, you can hold people accountable firmly, fairly, and with compassion.
Avoid Reactivity While Remaining Engaged (The Core of Resilience): When a system is anxious, it becomes reactive. The leader’s job is to stay connected to their people (empathy) without getting swept up in the emotional current (reactivity). This allows you to see the “emotional forces” at work and make the strategic, necessary changes that others are too afraid to make.
A Leader’s Checklist: Are You Leading the System or Just Managing Symptoms?
In my coaching work, I use these principles to help leaders diagnose the health of their own systems. Use this checklist to see where your greatest point of leverage is.
When a problem arises…
Symptom-Managing: Is my first instinct to fix it myself or find someone to blame?
System-Leading: Is my first instinct to ask, “What in our process allowed this to happen?” and “How can I use this as a coaching opportunity?”
When my team is anxious…
Symptom-Managing: Do I absorb their anxiety, become overwhelmed, and avoid the topic to “protect” them?
System-Leading: Do I acknowledge their feelings (empathy) and then provide clear, calm direction and focus (accountability)?
When I need to give feedback…
Symptom-Managing: Do I delay the conversation to spare feelings, or deliver blunt criticism because I’m frustrated?
System-Leading: Do I deliver feedback that is timely, behavior-focused, and rooted in a desire for the person’s growth?
When a change initiative stalls…
Symptom-Managing: Do I push harder for the deadline, creating more stress?
System-Leading: Do I get curious about the real source of resistance (e.g., fear of AI, role confusion, burnout) and address that root cause?
What Does a Healthy System Feel Like?
When I offer this work in retreats, the biggest takeaway is this: We are not just a collection of parts. We are interconnected in ways we rarely notice.
Here are a few other learnings my clients have shared:
“Your gifts are needed. If you are too far outside the center of things, the group will drop the ball.”
“Leading and following are so interdependent that it almost doesn’t matter if you think you’re the leader or you think you’re the follower.”
“You are influencing others’ behavior even when you are in retreat– like it (or feel it) or not. And you can’t predict what they will do.”
“Some people are stuck in the role of the victim, even when they think they’re leaders. The rest of us can learn to lead without feeding into or indulging their anxiety.”
All this influence can be nerve-wracking. But there’s great news here, too. You don’t have to do more.
How you show up (who you are when you show up) makes all the difference.
This workshop is a foundational element of my work with leadership teams. If you’d like to move beyond theory and build a true operating system for empathetic performance in your organization, let’s explore how empathy can drive performance.
