A team gathers for their weekly debrief, coffee cups and notebooks in hand. Their posture is relaxed, breathing is synced, and—without anyone naming it—they’re regulating one another’s nervous systems. That quiet super-power is called co-regulation, and in an era when the pace of change has jumped a mind-boggling 183 percent since 2019, it’s the leadership capacity most of us never learned how to leverage.
If you ever feel like the ground keeps shifting under your feet, you’re in good company. Change fatigue isn’t just emotional—it’s biological. And while leaders can’t always slow the pace, they can shape how their teams move through it.
This article breaks down why change feels harder than ever, what’s happening underneath the surface, and how you can use co-regulation to turn solo struggle into shared strength. Think of it as synchronized swimming for nervous systems: steady together, or sink alone.
What is the emotional cycle of change?
Even positive change stirs up stress. Think of it like a rollercoaster—equal parts anticipation, panic, and eventual relief. Adapted from Kübler-Ross and William Bridges, the emotional cycle of change moves through five predictable stages:
Uninformed optimism begins with excitement. “This will be great!” people say, not yet seeing the obstacles ahead. But as the reality of complexity sets in, informed pessimism takes hold. Motivation dips. Doubts creep in. “Uh-oh—this is harder than we thought.”
From there, most teams enter what’s often called the valley of despair—that sloggy middle where the benefits of change haven’t arrived yet, and the old way is already gone. It’s the phase where people question everything: “Why did we even do this?”
Eventually, if they’re well supported, teams begin to experience cautious hope. Small wins accumulate. The fog starts to lift. “Maybe we’re turning the corner.” And finally, with time and trust, integration takes place. The new normal settles in. The system stabilizes.
The journey isn’t always linear, and people don’t move through it at the same pace. But leaders who name the pattern help normalize it—and shorten the dip.
Why does change feel more overwhelming than before?
It’s not just you. The volume of change has increased dramatically, with professionals reporting a 183% rise in the pace of change since 2019. And 88% of executives say it’s about to accelerate again.
That speed comes with a cost. Nearly two-thirds of workers now say they’re overwhelmed by how quickly their work is evolving. There’s less time to absorb new tools, fewer moments to reflect before pivoting again. Leaders feel it, too.
One client put it bluntly: “Change is here. I’ve gotta figure it out.” The pressure to absorb and adapt—without faltering—is enormous. And in the middle of that pressure, empathy often disappears just when people need it most.
The pressure to absorb and adapt—without faltering—is enormous. And in the middle of that pressure, empathy often disappears just when people need it most.
👉 For help reclaiming your agency, see Power of Choice in a World of Constant Change.
How do you know if your team is in change fatigue?
Not all resistance is loud. Sometimes it shows up as flat affect, quiet resignation, or a noticeable drop in participation. You might hear less laughter on Zoom. You might see cameras off and contributions wane. These signs matter.
One leader shared, “It feels like Groundhog Day… and that’s not satisfactory for me.” The spark was gone—not because she didn’t care, but because caring had become exhausting.
Another leader wrestled with disengagement in a high-potential employee. “I’ve done everything I can think of,” he told me. “What am I missing?” The answer wasn’t more performance management. It was emotional support—specifically, co-regulation.
When teams are burned out by constant change, they stop co-creating. They wait. Withdraw. Or overcompensate and flame out. Co-regulation offers a way to stay connected and present even when the finish line is nowhere in sight.
👉 If you’re leading from that murky in-between, you might appreciate Leading Through the Messy Middle.
What co-regulation tactics can help during change?
Let’s make this practical. Below are eight co-regulation moves you can try—one per week, or whatever your rhythm allows. They aren’t magic, but they are human. And that’s what most teams are starving for.
1. Share the map.
At the start of any new initiative, show a simple version of the emotional cycle of change. Walk through it aloud. “Here’s what most people experience when going through big shifts.” When people know what to expect, they’re less likely to internalize the hard parts as failure.
2. Name today’s weather.
Try a quick check-in at the start of meetings: “sunny,” “cloudy,” “tornado watch,” etc. Labeling emotions—even briefly—helps brains metabolize them. And it sets a tone of openness and shared experience.
3. Pair for breathing breaks.
It doesn’t have to be woo-woo. Just pick a buddy and sync four slow breaths before a big presentation or deadline. Research shows this kind of nervous-system syncing can calm heart rates and increase focus.
4. Body-double the heavy lifts.
Schedule 25-minute Zoom co-working blocks. No talking. Just presence. This silent accountability helps people stay regulated and less alone with their mental load.
5. You-lead, I-lead listening.
In pairs, mirror each other’s posture and tone for 90 seconds, then paraphrase what you heard. It might feel a little awkward at first—but that physical mirroring sends powerful safety signals to the brain.
6. Micro-celebrate milestones.
Mark the 10% wins. Drop a GIF. Raise a mug. Spark dopamine. One leader I coached said, “Every 10% deserves a meme.” That was said by a client who was experimenting with new ways to keep his team energized during a long and complex change initiative. Rather than wait for a big milestone or final rollout to celebrate, he decided to mark every small win—every 10% of progress—with humor and visibility. His tool of choice? Memes.
7. Create a Calm Channel.
Create carte blanche for taking a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood, or start a Slack or Teams thread just for grounding content—30-second breathing videos, nature GIFs, ambient music. Give people a place to recenter without needing to ask for help.
8. Anchor in purpose.
When the “why” fades, so does the will to keep going. Purpose statements, even if brief, can re-engage people emotionally. A client once said, “If I know what I’m protecting, I can make the hard call.” Don’t underestimate the power of naming what matters.
👉 If you need help reconnecting with purpose when stress spikes, here’s how leaders Manage Stress by Orienting to Purpose.
How can I create a co-regulation rhythm for my team?
Want a repeatable rhythm? Here’s a simple workflow you can tailor to your team:
1. Map the journey.
Draw the emotional curve. Talk about where you think the team is today.
2. Assign buddies.
Pair people for co-regulation check-ins, breathing breaks, or simply someone to Slack when motivation dips.
3. Schedule rhythm.
Make “weather checks” a normal part of meetings. Add one 10-minute breathing or stretch break per week.
4. Celebrate micro-wins.
Create rituals for mini-milestones. Progress feels better when it’s acknowledged—even briefly.
5. Debrief and refine.
At the end of a project sprint or change cycle, pause. What worked? What helped us stay grounded? Use those insights next time.
👉 You can also grab a practical planning tool in An Essential Checklist for Leading Change.
Bring it home
Co-regulation isn’t soft. It’s strategic. When leaders steady the room—not by forcing cheerfulness or minimizing discomfort, but by regulating themselves and modeling emotional presence—teams become more resilient.
Try one tactic this week. Just one. Start small. And then notice what shifts—not just in your team, but in you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is co-regulation in the workplace?
A: Co-regulation is the process of helping others regulate their nervous systems by staying calm, present, and attuned. It’s a leadership superpower—especially during change.
Q: Why does change feel so overwhelming lately?
A: The pace of change has accelerated dramatically since 2019, leaving little time for recovery. This pressure can lead to burnout, emotional shutdown, and disengagement if not managed well.
Q: How can I tell if my team is experiencing change fatigue?
A: Look for quiet withdrawal, lower engagement, off-camera Zoom calls, or repetitive expressions of frustration. These are signs your team may need emotional support—not just clarity or motivation.
Q: What are simple co-regulation tactics I can try as a leader?
A: Try weather check-ins, buddy breathing breaks, shared purpose reminders, or mini-celebrations for small wins. Even 90 seconds of intentional presence can create a shift.
About the author
Amy Kay Watson, MCC, has guided over 3,000 leaders around the world to build high-performing, human-centered teams. She helps kind leaders manage with confidence—without losing what makes them human. Learn more at AmyKayWatson.com.
